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My “Choice” To Be Bisexual

One person, when I recently told them that I am bisexual, responded by saying ‘Well, that’s your choice’. Here’s a short, sweet explanation of exactly what I have been able to choose about my sexuality.

The Parts I Don’t Choose

My sexuality. Who I’m sexually attracted to ain’t my choice. For me that can be a person of any gender. Even if I could choose, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t go for a sexuality which attracts so much hate, abuse, and derision.

The Parts I Do Choose

First, I choose to accept my sexuality. The knowledge of it slowly forced itself on me. I did a bit of research into what the Bible really said about homosexuality, which turned out to be practically nothing, and even less that was relevant to me as a Christian. I also gradually met and made friends with various people who weren’t heterosexual, and discovered that they were perfectly nice, normal people. I rejected the bigoted teachings of my Christian childhood. Eventually, I was able to accept that I was bisexual and that this didn’t make me a bad person.

Second, I choose to live bisexually. That is, I chose to tell people, including my family, about my sexuality, and I choose not to hide it from anyone. I’ve been very lucky to not experience much homophobia outside of my family, although I’m pretty sure that would change if I entered into a non-heterosexual-appearing relationship. So, I choose now to live the truth of who I am, and I choose not to hide it even though I am aware of the kind of abuse non-straightness can attract.

4 comments

  1. I’m glad that you are happy with who you are! I don’t know why so many people, Christians or not, have this aversion towards non-straight people. I’ve met some of them, and they are some of the most nonjudgmental and kind people I know.

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  2. […] At last, I came out to my family, and that was the worst experience I have personally had. I told one sister online, but we haven’t discussed it at all, so I’ve no idea how she feels. The other sister and my mum I told in person and… it wasn’t great. My sister was fine. We’ve talked since and I’m happy. But my mum, that good christian woman, was not ok with it at all. Her first words were “well, that’s your choice”. […]

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