One person, when I recently told them that I am bisexual, responded by saying ‘Well, that’s your choice’. Here’s a short, sweet explanation of exactly what I have been able to choose about my sexuality.
The Parts I Don’t Choose
My sexuality. Who I’m sexually attracted to ain’t my choice. For me that can be a person of any gender. Even if I could choose, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t go for a sexuality which attracts so much hate, abuse, and derision.
The Parts I Do Choose
First, I choose to accept my sexuality. The knowledge of it slowly forced itself on me. I did a bit of research into what the Bible really said about homosexuality, which turned out to be practically nothing, and even less that was relevant to me as a Christian. I also gradually met and made friends with various people who weren’t heterosexual, and discovered that they were perfectly nice, normal people. I rejected the bigoted teachings of my Christian childhood. Eventually, I was able to accept that I was bisexual and that this didn’t make me a bad person.
Second, I choose to live bisexually. That is, I chose to tell people, including my family, about my sexuality, and I choose not to hide it from anyone. I’ve been very lucky to not experience much homophobia outside of my family, although I’m pretty sure that would change if I entered into a non-heterosexual-appearing relationship. So, I choose now to live the truth of who I am, and I choose not to hide it even though I am aware of the kind of abuse non-straightness can attract.