“The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant.” – Doctor Who
One year ago today my new computer arrived! It’s really good. Easy to use and to type on, and notably it has a detachable screen, which means that when I’m spending hours in bed at a time I can use it while I’m there. Which is lovely, because being in bed that much is exceedingly dull.
In bed or not, I use my computer all the time. I use it to listen to music and watch tv and listen to podcasts. I use it to write and read, and to communicate with everybody from my friends to the government I have to fight to survive. It’s my only real link to the world outside my bedroom, and also contains many of my most personal secrets. When I was asking for money to help me buy it, I called it a lifeline, and that’s exactly what it is. Without it I’d be almost completely isolated, because I find typing on a small screen really difficult.
And that’s the other thing about this computer: it represents a huge amount of generosity from a lot of people, some of them complete strangers but most of them friends or friend-adjacent. I’d used all my savings to buy a new mobile phone when it died unexpectedly. The computer death was entirely expected but still badly timed. I started a Gofundme and was amazed and touched by how many people helped me. So that I didn’t have to use a borrowed tablet – I was immensely grateful for it, it kept me connected while I didn’t have a computer, but it turned out to be very much not my ideal device – a friend lent me the rest of the money I needed to buy a computer, which I was able to pay back when I was finally awarded PIP.
And that’s why my computer makes me happy every day when I use it. It reminds me of my amazing friends, and it allows me to be connected to them and to the world.
May your pile of good things be added to this week.